03 September 2014

Despre racoare, bucurie si CS Lewis

Simt ca revin la viata. Dimineata, cand am iesit din casa, era aproape frig. Racoare proaspata de dimineata, care mi-a trecut prin corp ca un impuls electric si m-a pus pe picioare, dupa ce caldura de oras incins m-a tinut sub bocanc atat de mult timp. Iubesc frigul, ma umple de energie si de chef de viata. Iubesc racoarea din serile si diminetile de vara, modul in care se simte ea pe umeri, pe maini si pe fata. Ma duce intr-un loc din trecut, un loc nu foarte clar ca timp si ca spatiu, dar un loc similar ca stare. Ma umple de...o stare pe care nu pot sa o descriu in cuvinte.

Cred ca C.S.Lewis a pus in vorbe cel mai bine starea asta:

“I call it Joy. As I stood beside a flowering currant bush on a summer day there suddenly arose in me without warning, and as if from a depth not of years but of centuries, the memory of that earlier morning at the Old House when my brother had brought his toy garden into the nursery. It is difficult to find words strong enough for the sensation which came over me. It was a sensation, of course, of desire; but desire for what?...Before I knew what I desired, the desire itself was gone, the whole glimpse... withdrawn, the world turned commonplace again, or only stirred by a longing for the longing that had just ceased... In a sense the central story of my life is about nothing else... The quality common to the three experiences... is that of an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction. I call it Joy, which is here a technical term and must be sharply distinguished both from Happiness and Pleasure. Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic, and one only, in common with them; the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again... I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if both were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the world. But then Joy is never in our power and Pleasure often is.”